What a new journey. Junior year. Nuff said. It's only been a week and 2 days and I already feel like my head is going to explode. The work is crazy, everything matters more now than it did ever. It sometimes feels like I have more work than some of the seniors do. Crazy right? But, you know what, part of me actually doesn't mind it. Now THAT sounds crazy, huh? It's challenging me. Giving me that responsibility to manage my time, get my work done, etc. Once I start working it'll be even more of a responsibility. It's getting me really excited for going to college. I mean right now I'm sitting at Starbucks, supposed to be(:, working on homework. Ha! I could so get used to this. All you people that have already been through highschool know exactly what I'm talking about. Those of you who are on this journey with me, let's do it. Together. It's not forever, even though it may feel like it, lol. God knows it's hard. He didn't make it easy. What would be the point in learning from our mistakes and becoming a better person if it was? Ten points for God for that! Junior year has also taught me how to lean on Him more. I mean it's a small thing, but when I get overwhelmed I just ask, no I beg, for God to give me peace. He does(: He listens to even the smallest of things. Being a teenager can really teach us a lot. The good and the bad. But, no matter what it does, it shapes who we're going to be when we're older. Even if you're the complete opposite than who you were in highschool, you still learned how you didn't want to be. Am I right? One piece of advice I want to give, even though it seems obvious, is whenever things just get so chaotic, open the Bible to some random page and just start reading. God will know what you need to hear at that exact moment. Like I said it seems obvious, but how many of us actually do that? We say we do. But are we actually relying on His word to give us comfort. Or something else? God and I have pretty awesome conversations. We talk Kailyn-style. It's pretty funny if you actually happen to listen to me. I basically speak whatever is on my mind. He already knows what I'm thinking so why not say it? He wants to hear me say it. It's like if someone does something wrong. You know in your heart that they are truly sorry. But you want to hear it. Nothing is settled until the words are spoken. Same with God. He knows what we're going to say or what we're feeling. But, He wants us to say it. In the Bible it talks about confessing with our mouth that Jesus is Lord. Well why not confess everything else? He already knows, so you might as well just say it. Even though I feel like I ramble sometimes on here I know it's for a purpose that I started blogging. Someone out there needs this as much as I do. Someone out there will be able to relate in some way or another and they'll think, "I'm not alone." No. You most certainly are NOT alone. Because not only am I here, but Jesus is here. He's listening to you and He loves you. Don't ever forget that.

"Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind." -Isaiah 40:28-31. "Like a sheperd, he will care for his flock, gathering the lambs in his arms, Hugging them as he carries them, leading the nursing ewes to good pasture." -Isaiah 40:11 GOD CARES!!!! He isn't just leaving you in the dust to deal with your problems by yourself. He's there! I promise. If you can't believe that promise believe His. Isaiah 54 talks about how God didn't send these troubles to you. "I create the blacksmith who fires up his forge and makes a weapon designed to kill. I also create the destroyer-but no weapon that can hut you has ever been forged." verses 16 and part of 17. Written/spoken truth that He is for YOU. Not the enemy. He cares for YOU. He doesn't want you to hurt. That isn't His path! But He can heal those who hurt. He can strength those who are weak. And He will. That famous quote, "Don't fall for someone unless you know they are willing to catch you." We can all say, that at some point in our lives we "thought" someone caught us. God catches us every time. No matter how many times we fall. And He not only catches us, but He puts us back on our knees. And full of His mercy. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you want the truth, look in His word. He'll always tell you the truth.

Summer getting close to being over and I am just now starting to have fun. Better late than never, right(;? Right now I'm in Arkansas chillin' with family here, Thursday I get my license, and Sunday I leave for Tennessee. I have the most fun with my family and right now I couldn't ask for a better summer. Yes, it was slow at first, but I had a lot of time to spend with family and I love spending time with them. They mean the world to me and I'm so blessed to have them in my life. I never take one moment for granted with them. Or at least I try my hardest. No ones perfect and I know all of us teenagers don't always want to love our family. But we look at them and think, "They made me who I am. Why would I not want to be with them."

She grew up with one thing on her mind. Her Daddy had her set for life, always the lovin kind. He taught her well, he taught her young. Always learned to bite her tongue. He was her best friend. Always smiling at the end.

She’s got her Daddy’s eyes and his thoughts fill her mind.

She sure acts like him, and boy can her temper rise.

She’s got her Momma’s sweet side and her gentle heart.

But set her off, and you’ll wanna get a head start.

One early morning she wakes with flashes of red and white. She can’t help but shake the fright. Sounds around only at a whisper, everything she sees at a blur. Her Daddy on the ground and her Momma cryin. Her thoughts spinning and emotions in a stir.

She’s got her Daddy’s eyes and his thoughts fill her mind.

She sure acts like him, and boy can her temper rise.

She’s got her Momma’s sweet side and her gentle heart.

But set her off, and you’ll wanna get a head start.

She dreams of him. He stands in the corner, where the light is dim. Her heart aches with pain. Keeping in mind strength is what she can gain. He took part of her with him, when he went home to Jesus. Leavin space to fill the empty creases.

She’s got her Daddy’s eyes and his thoughts fill her mind.

She sure acts like him, and boy can her temper rise.

She’s got her Momma’s sweet side and her gentle heart.

But set her off, and you’ll wanna get a head start.

She always hears his voice. She knows it’s God talking. Her Daddy still has her heart. With the rain falling against her skin she knows she’s never alone. Daddy’s right there with her to play in the raindrops he rides down that fall.

Just because I'm okay with things doesn't make them any easier. Life is hard, but I try to embrace it. I'm not perfect, and I have my bad days. But one thing's for sure, I make the best of my good days and never take a moment with the ones I love for granted. I am me.

Love. Every girl's dream. True love. It's not a myth. It's not impossible. It's real. It's unpredictable. And it's complicated. But, does that stop us? Not at all. The difficult part, waiting for that one true love to enter your life. We hate to admit it, but as much as we say that we're okay with waiting for the right person, we hate waiting. It's hard. Yes, I'm 16. But, that doesn't mean I'm blind to what love is. I know it when I see it. And it's beautiful. I know that in my future, whether it be 5 or 10 years away, I will get the perfect love for me. Right now, it's seems like a life-time away. Every movie I see or story I hear makes the waiting harder. But, oh so worth it. God made me the type of person that wants that more than anything. I know He puts that in all of us. But, He especially put it in me. Honestly, it sometimes makes me cry at night. You know when you see something so happy and so breath-taking that all you can do is cry? That's how it makes me feel. I can't explain. It's that feeling that the entire world can be crashing down all around me, but I feel that warmth and I can sit there and smile. Mr. Right will do that for me. If I'm feeling like that now just imagine what I'll feel then. All the brokenness from this and that will not only be healed by the grace of God, but complete. Now, don't get me wrong. Jesus has my heart. I'm all His. But, God made men and women a part of each other. He made us to want one another. He made us in His image. It wouldn't make sense to not want that completeness in your life. That love that not only shines because Jesus Himself died because He loved us, but the love a person has for another because of Who made us. With love comes patience, trust...faith. All it comes down to now is whether or not we choose to believe that and that the right person comes at the right time when we need each other the most. Not when we want each other the most.

Summer camp 2010 is approaching quickly. This past year has sadly sucked. Yes. Completely. It had its wonderful moments. Don't get me wrong, but overall, I've never had to deal with so much that a teenage girl must deal with. Last week I started meeting the girls I'm rooming with for camp. Today, I fell like I have so much in common with these girls. Between my best friend, Erin, and I meeting and bonding with these girls, I feel like this summer is really going to be unforgettable. And, amazingly, it's in a very good way! We all have our secrets. The good thing is, God knows all those secrets before we even tell anyone. Today I was at lunch with Erin and I realized while I was talking that I have someone there no matter who's busy or out of town or can't hangout of whatever reason. Erin, yes that person is you...but I'm referring to Father on this one(; He's my everything. I used to go around saying that, but never living like it. It's hard to live a hypocritical life. It's so much easier if we just obey the Lord. I'm a visual person. So when God tells me something, I visually see it. The biggest one that has never left my mind has been when He told me to let go of everything I have or ever cared about or been close to. People, houses, buildings, sounds, everything. I saw myself standing in-between darkness and light. Darkness at my back and the light in front of me. Whatever I needed to let go of, I was holding in my hands. Every time something new popped up in my hands, He told me to let it go. That hardest person to let go of...my dad. He was standing there in front of me holding my hands. Whispering, "Kailyn let go of me. I'm always with you. You know that. Scripture says that. He says that. But you need to let me go." Was that hard to hear or what?! But I obeyed....lemme tell ya, WORTH IT!!! I encourage you, listen to God's still small voice. If you have to, quiet your heart. I have to. I'm a loud person, but quieting my heart for God is the best thing I could do for anyone. He tells me exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. He brings me joy. He opens my eyes to what I need to see. He opens my ears to what I need to hear. He gives me the words that I need to speak and He gives me the knowledge I need to know. He is my Everything. No one can get to my heart unless they've been through Him. Scripture says anything you give to the Lord, He will give you back 10 fold. He loves to please us. Why is it so hard for us to obey and lay our lives down for him?

Here at Your feet, I lay my past down
My wanderings, all my mistakes down
And I am free

Here at Your feet, I lay this day down
Not in my strength, but in Yours I’ve found
All I need, You’re all I need

Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
Oh, to dwell and never leave
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
There is nowhere else for me
There is nowhere else for me

Here at Your feet, I lay my future down
All of my dreams, I give to You now
And I find peace, I find peace
Here at Your feet, I lay my life down
For You my King, You’re all I want now
And my soul sings…

‘Cause I am free (here at Your feet)
All I need (is at Your feet)
I find peace
We’re at Your feet
We’re at Your feet

And I am free (here at Your feet)
All I need (is at Your feet)
I find peace
We’re at Your feet
We’re at Your feet
We’re at Your feet
We’re at Your feet

Here at Your feet
I lay my life down

-At Your Feet, Casting Crowns.

WORD!!!!