If the past couple of months has taught me anything, it's to release control to Him. I'm the type of person that isn't necessarily controlling, but I have a certain way of doing things, and I like them to be done that way. If not, I'll deal with it, but not with the best attitude. My 4th strength is adaptability, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. When something is wrong, I try to fix it myself. I don't like to burden people by asking for help or go to them will all of my issues when they have other things they have to deal with. Since my dad died, I've been pretty self sufficient. And I realized that was the root of why I didn't like to burden people. I developed this sense of fixing things myself when difficult times struck and that way no one else would have to worry about anything and I can just deal with all the trouble. But I've learned lately, that that isn't the best way to go about doing things. I believe God puts trials in our path that is humanly impossible to overcome by ourselves because He wants us to ask for help. He wants to help us. It falls back to trust. He wants us to trust Him enough that no matter what heartache comes our way, we can trust Him to help us even though we have no idea what the next 10 minutes will hold. I've learned to let go of that. I'm not the best at it, and He still has to remind me to release control and let Him work, but I am getting better. Since I've done that, I have seen Him move. I used to never be content with the season I was in. Always wanting the next one to come around so that I could get to the next growth stage and maybe then my life will start rolling. But it just kept getting harder and harder. It wasn't because life itself got harder. It was because I never fully grew to the the complacency God wanted for me in the previous season of life. It's crazy how time can go by so fast, but seem so slow in the midst of things. I see that now, but I'm okay with it. Looking around at what God has put around me, I've seen His hand upon everything. I look at the friendships I have developed and the education I'm in the middle of. I look at the authorities over my friends and me. And I see how much they care. Yes, I want to get married, start a family and finally start the job of my dreams, but I finally am willing to wait. I've seen so much happen in the present that I know without it, my future won't be the same. This time won't last forever. And I don't want to miss a single thing that God is doing. I don't want to miss the opportunity to speak life into someone. I don't want to miss the opportunity to se God's hand paint the picture of life. I want to embrace everything now. Good and bad.
I encourage any of y'all who are struggling with this. You're not the first and you most certainly are not the only one. There is a whole group of us going through the same thing that want to encourage you and build you up. It isn't an over night thing. It's taken me a few roller coaster rides of giving something to God, taking it back, the giving to Him again. Sometimes it would happen a good 3 times a day. But I encourage you no matter how many times you take it back, always give it to Him. Don't stop giving it to Him because you think you'll always take it back and never get a grasp on this whole control thing. Keep giving it to Him. No matter how many times a day you have to do it. He will bring you peace and rest.
Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
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